i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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