it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
