it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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