careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
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