Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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