The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just pee around me
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
