If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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