I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
