So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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