its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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