saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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