so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
