oh god the rape fog is back!
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
