Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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