yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
