I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
