definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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