i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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