the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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