I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
