So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
soo... how was my night?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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