I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
