So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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