I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
