Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Non-Jews are for practice
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
