i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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