YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
