my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
