I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
