Just fell off a train. Bad.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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