either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
