ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
