Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
