I'm really into asian looking animals
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
