how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
