she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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