If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
