Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
