no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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