how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
