i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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