I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
