so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
