All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Vodka?
Forever.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
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