I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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