The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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