I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
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