it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
false alarm, still single
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
