I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
