Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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