Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
