I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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