brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Randomize
